Domestic violence for me started at the age of 13. I was in middle school & there was a guy I liked and I thought he liked me as well so we begin to date. One particular day after school he convinced me to go to his house & with some reluctance I did because I wanted him to like me. On that day my life changed, I was raped at the age of 13 & later on down the line I became pregnant as a result, the baby was aborted.
When I was first married, I was 21 & the gentleman that I married, I dated for 3 years. I was 18 & he was in his early 20’s, he was older & he had pretty much control over me. So I was okay with that & in the beginning he would start off with little verbal abuse ‘you do what I say’ ‘Tell me where you are going’ ‘I will give you this pager when I page you, you better go to a phone booth & call me back’ I was basically allowed to hangout with only my mom & my sister. I had to cut off my friends.
As time went on the verbal abuse started to become physical abuse if I didn’t do what he says. One day, I sat in the bed & I begged him to kill me because I would rather be dead than to live this way. Along with me being a victim, my only sister Linda was a victim as well. The odd thing is she & I, as close as we were we never discussed our abusive relationships.
My sister’s husband later shot her in the head 3 times, crushed her skull & stabbed her 27 times. She died.
My daughter was in the 5th grade & she had started to be bullied by a little boy at school & one day she was physically assaulted by him in the classroom.
I no longer saw a little boy & I no longer saw my daughter. When I looked at my daughter, she was my sister and when I looked at the little boy, he was every abuser that had ever beaten me and he was the person who murdered my sister. I almost killed the 11 year old boy that day.
From that day forward, I decided that I needed healing & the only way that I would heal is through helping others & that’s how I began to share my story. My healing comes through people saying “You have helped me out, Thank you so much, I never thought I could get out” – Lisa Council, domestic abuse survivor.